Why do I even bother?
I am still waiting from a call from Jim Webb. I believe Webb owes me for his victory big time. "Why" you would ask me "does Jim Webb owe you?" Simple math really. The video I created to lampoon his bigoted opponent George Allen got over 16,000 views by election day and Webb beat Macacawitz by 7,000+ votes. I figure a 50+% success rate is not too shabby. So Webb time to pay up.
But seriously, more than a phone call, what I really want is his ear. No I am not a cannibal, even though I love to nibble on my monkey's ear. But I could give him some radical advice that would make Jim really popular with a lot of folks. Yeah, abolishing capitalism would be nice, but realistically he would not even hear that. So how about... Impeach Bush!
Well as we heard on Tuesday, Pelosi (soon to be top Dem in da Hizsouse) said hell no. Now, what did Howard Dean tell John Stewart about this impeachment biz? Jim, come on, you gotta do something about the cowards in your team and encourage the Dems to acquire their pound of flesh. Impeach for kirssakes! You have a known criminal running the show, you got plenty of evidence, you got the votes, what the fuck are y'all waiting for?
Now the Dem leadership has been blowing a lot of smoke up our asses when it comes to Iraq. After all, this election was a referendum on Iraq. Wasn't it? And the referendum says "bring the boyz back to the hood". So here's an idea that would make you very popular, specially with the friends and relatives of all the peeps sticking their necks out in AeeRack. People vote for something, and once you are elected you give it to them. But no, Jim, your colleagues are already using Bush's language.
OK, ok, so you wouldn't want to do anything too controversial in your first year as a Senator. How about a gesture of good will. In January when the Dems take power of the senate, you could propose to ALL senators a surprise party for Dick Cheney. His Birthday is on January 30th. And as we all know the fucker ain't getting any younger, so this would be a gesture of good will. Here's what you do. You get a thumping sounds system and mic all the senators and set the volume to full blast. Get some strobe lights and firecrackers and hide under your desks in the chamber. When Dick walks in to preside, at the count of 3 (you can have the secret service warn you over walkie) well you know what to do.
As far as Rummie goes, well, I would be lying if I told you I didn't scream in joy at the top of my lungs. But don't get too excited, Robert Gates is quite a character.
That's all for now. I think I am going to ween myself of Washington politics and REALLY start looking as to how to start a revolution. Any ideas?